SANDY HARGRAVE

My journey, like many others, has been full of twists and turns, potholes, bumps in the road, and uncharted seas. I was born and raised in a small town in Northern California and settled in the San Francisco Bay Area as a young adult, pursuing my dream of acquiring a Bachelor’s degree in Cultural Anthropology at San Francisco State in 1979.

I was lured into corporate America and quickly found success working in sales for one of the largest clothing manufacturers in the country, taking on the challenge of turning the poorest performing sales territory into the largest revenue producing geographic market in my division within three years. Although I achieved financial success and by many people’s standards was “living the dream,” I was selling products that didn’t excite me, lugging clothing samples by car from store to store, and traveling 80% of my time. It certainly wasn’t the dream I envisioned, but I kept after it day by day, and while earning a six figure salary looked attractive from the outside (rare for a woman in the ‘80s), my heart just wasn’t in it.

What I realize now is that I wasn’t listening inwardly to either my heart or my body. At the time I was motivated by external factors, such as making money and achieving status in the eyes of others. Initially I told myself that if I succeeded for two years, I would take my winnings and move on to other pastures. However, before I knew it, two years stretched into ten and I was stuck in a place that wasn’t feeding my soul. I wasn’t passionate about my career or my lifestyle and wasn’t in touch with what made my heart sing.

You see, I had tunnel vision, holding tight to the dream of being fabulously wealthy and successful. The goal was okay, but the underlying driving belief that success is achieved by “hard work” and that I had to do it by myself, which ended up derailing my goals and dreams. The truth is, I was doing the best that I was capable of at the time, based upon my beliefs and conditioning. However, I had stopped trusting my instincts and stopped listening to my body.

By not listening inwardly and not tuning in to what I was passionate about ultimately led to my downfall. As a result of years of not listening, my body rebelled and I spiraled into a deep depression which took two years to recover from. As my health continued to deteriorate, I stubbornly stuck to my belief system, despite the fact that it had not served me well in the past. I had gone from having big dreams of conquering the world, having the perfect marriage, to nearly dying – all because I was disconnected from what gave me purpose and made my heart sing.

In essence, I was rationally attached to what my head was telling me what was expected of me, and to what I “thought” the world expected of me – all the while leaving my passions and inner knowing out of the equation. At the crucial moment when my doctor told me that my heart could stop at any moment and that I would likely die if I continued down this path, something happened that allowed a glimmer of light to shine through. I have learned volumes from that experience, not the least of which is the valuable lesson that the harder I clung to that attachment, the bigger the baseball bat or wakeup call was required to release me from that painful experience.

At this point in my journey, as sick and disillusioned as I was, with the help of a wonderful pastoral counselor, I began to discover my truth and my passions and emerge from the chasm I had fallen into. After conquering the turbulent waters of clinical depression, I came to the realization that I was in control of making the necessary choices to create a life that was in alignment with my true purpose for being here.

I began to disconnect from my ego and tap into my heart to follow my passions. When I did so, my journey took a very sharp turn. As part of my recovery in therapy, I was given the assignment to find a way to reconnect with the outer world, which I had resisted for a very long time. I trusted the guidance of my counselor and ventured out. The one place my heart took me was towards school, as I had always loved learning new things in the past. I signed up for a cake decorating class thinking it would be a lighthearted class with a minimal commitment. I kept to my commitment and kept going to class, and to my surprise I discovered within myself an untapped creativity, natural artistic talent, and that I had a true instinct to become a gifted cake decorator. I must share with you that when my instructor told me I was so gifted I could be teaching the class, something inside of me believed her and I experienced a major internal shift with respect to my self belief and confidence.

Learning from my past experiences, I decided to follow my passions and take a leap of faith. Bravely, I started a cake decorating business and gained more and more confidence as I began to create exquisite art forms, and my business began to take off. Over the next few years, I immersed myself into the business and it grew beyond my wildest dreams, to the point where it became the premier cake decorating business in Aspen, Colorado. This endeavor was more aligned with my passions than my previous career, but regardless of how successful the cake business became, several negative patterns kept repeating themselves. First, my belief system around working hard to ensure success was front and center. That was also tied to a second erroneous belief, which was that I needed to do all the work myself, which of course was not sustainable and could ultimately lead to burnout again. I held the entrenched belief that unless I could control all aspects of the business, the cake decorating business would ultimately fail. In fact, it was fear at the root of all my striving, forcing and struggling.

I began to tap into the knowing that there had to be a better way of living life and “doing” business, and earnestly began to ask for it to show up in my life and for me to be open to receive this information. As a result of that shift, I detached from my past beliefs with respect to “how” work and life needed to be lived. My detachment, along with the knowing that it was possible to live life differently and certainly with better quality that I had been experiencing, was what made the difference.

The next thing I knew I was gifted with information about a Spiritual Psychology graduate program. When I read the brochure and website, I knew instinctively that it was a match for me. I followed through and acted on that knowing. Although the classes took place on weekends (a direct conflict with the wedding cake business) in Los Angeles, and that I’d have to travel every month, find a place to stay, complete homework assignments, pay for tuition and books, all while keeping my business running, I didn’t let that stop me. I stayed focused on my inner knowing that this was my right path. As I did so, the fire inside of me – my passion – flared up and propelled me further on my journey. I continued to be pulled forward into a grander version of myself and kept showing up and saying “yes.” After completion of the graduate program, I once again was led down a new path and on a new journey of helping others to align with their passions, achieve their dreams and live life to the fullest.

It took courage to pursue this life-changing decision and self-honoring choice to follow my passion where it invited me to go. Was it smooth sailing? No. Was it worth it? Absolutely! You see, passions are the hints, the gifts, and maybe even the internal GPS signals that can be lived out in everyday life if we discover them and are willing to listen. By learning to listen and act upon your inner guidance, the journey towards your goal can be very rewarding and fulfilling.

Today, I continue to follow my passions and inner knowing. I am a practicing Life Coach and Spiritual Psychologist. I am also a practicing passion follower and certified Passion Test Facilitator, giving people the keys to unlock their passions and the support to step forward into their fullness. My Dreams to Reality and Cruising Thru Life Programs are designed to help you get in touch with and take action on your dreams and passions, and to support you when things surface that may impede your growth and progress. As a life-long entrepreneur, I love coaching business owners who are ready to bring their business dreams into reality in a balanced way, experiencing both money and meaning. I have had the privilege and honor of working with hundreds of people, facilitating them to get to the heart of the matter, discover their passions, and drop their stories about why life isn’t working and go for the gold. I have helped many people tap into what is true for them at the Authentic-Self level, and opened their eyes to see and understand why they are here, as a vital piece of a larger puzzle. It is awesome work and one of my biggest passions!

I challenge you to step up to the plate and discover your true passions, and bring your dreams into reality. The world needs you, and is waiting for you to step forward into the fullness of your gifts and talents, and into the purpose you were born for. I invite you to do what it takes to be the biggest, fullest and “BEST YOU” that you can be! I am committed to helping you experience the journey of your wildest dreams.

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